“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.” (Galatians 6:1a)
As Christians we want to challenge one another to become more Christ like, but if we try to push someone to change too quickly or too aggressively, then they may not be able to cope and just leave the church or give up on faith. That is why the verse above says, that when someone is caught in a sin, we need to go about restoring them gently.
Fruit of the Spirit: Gentleness
A Less Gentle World
It feels like we are living in a less gentle world.
The events earlier this week in Northern Ireland illustrate this well. First there was the horrific attack where a man in the street tried to cut off the head of another man with a knife. That in itself was hardly a gentle act and was rightly condemned.
But what happened next was even less gentle. Because the original assailant was a migrant, gangs of men went around from house to house looking for migrants and setting their homes on fire. Anger and violence is certainly the opposite of gentleness. Indeed, this was a massive escalation, attacking and terrorising a whole community in response to the attack of one deranged man.
This was one incident, but it reflects a growing trend fuelled by social media. On social media, where you cannot see the person you are talking to, it is much more common to respond aggressively or harshly than with a gentle word. Indeed, aggression and outrage are far more likely to create engagement on social media, than a gentle calm comment. Social media itself seems to be promoting a less gentle world.
The Fruit of the Spirit: How do we develop Gentleness?
But as Christians we are called to gentleness. We are going through a series on the fruit of the Spirit, the kind of godly traits we develop, the more we learn to live in step with the spirit. Today, we are looking at the second to last trait: ‘gentleness.’
So, how do we develop gentleness?
Imitate our Gentle Messiah
We can see that ‘gentleness’ is a godly trait, by looking at the gentle Messiah, the Son of God, Jesus Christ.
In the Old Testament, Zechariah forecast the Messiah, God’s promised king for his people, coming to Jerusalem with this prophecy:
“Rejoice greatly, O Daughter of Zion! Shout, Daughter of Jerusalem! See, your king comes to you, righteous and having salvation, gentle and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.” (Zechariah 9:9; cf. Matthew 21:5)
In Zechariah’s day and in Jesus’ day, the great kings did not ride donkeys they rode war horses. The horse was the symbol of military might and strength. Many empires had come and gone, and they had risen to power through military might, symbolised by the power of the horse. You didn’t become king by being gentle, you became king by crushing your opponents.
But, Zechariah, said God’s king would be different. He would come gently and riding on a donkey. Jesus embraced the prophecy. He deliberately rode into Jerusalem on a donkey as the crowds proclaimed him king.
His power came not by killing his enemies, but by dying for his friends. He builds a kingdom with gentleness and humility, not imposing his will on others, but offering forgiveness and a new way to live.
As Christians, Jesus is our hero. The more we reflect on his gentle character, the more we will learn to be gentle ourselves.
Be confident in His Grace
We can see in Jesus, that gentleness is closely linked to humility. Indeed, the word for gentleness in the Greek is almost the same as the word for humility. Gentleness is not imposing yourself on others but treating others as better than yourselves.
The verse before our reading from Galatians, which comes immediately after the passage on the fruit of the Spirit says,
“Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.” (Galatians 5:26)
Conceit is boasting in our own abilities, our own works. But a conceited nature does not lead to gentleness, it loves to make others feel less worthy than ourselves. Such an attitude seeks to put down the other.
Paul, however, does not want to boast in himself:
“But I do not want to boast, except in the cross of our lord Jesus Christ, through whom the world has been crucified to me and I to the world.” (Galatians 6:14)
His boast is in the cross, as the source of salvation. We are saved by Christ’s gracious sacrifice, not by our own works. If you are saved by grace, you can be both confident and humble. Confident, because you know Jesus has secured your place in God’s home, despite your failings, but also humble, because it was Jesus who did it not you. And with confidence and humility, you can be gentle with others. Gentleness grows out of a deeper understanding that we are saved by grace and so boast in the cross and not our own works.
Pray first!
The third way to grow in gentleness is through prayer about what is causing you anxiety.
One of the most helpful set of verses come in Philippians 4. Philippians itself is a book, which has as a major theme humility. But in chapter 4, he turns to a dispute in the church and gives some advice as to how to bring an end to the dispute.
He says,
“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:5-7)
You can see here, two of the attitudes that promote reconciliation in a conflict. Gentleness and prayer that leads to peace. Yet, I think these are entwined.
Disputes often arise out of our anxieties, and most of us find that the more anxious we are about an issue, the harder we find it to be gentle in our treatment of others. So, Paul gives us the solution to anxiety: prayer. When we pray about what is worrying us rather than being anxious about it, we discover the peace of God, that gives us a deep security and removes our anxiety. When we have this peace in ourselves it is much easier to be gentle with others. How do we learn gentleness? Pray about our anxieties.
Gentleness in Action:
So, what does gentleness look like in action?
In Restoring Others:
Firstly, gentleness is important in the way we go about restoring Christians who are caught up in some sin or other. The first verse of our passage says,
“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1)
Notice it says, ‘you who are spiritual’. Remember, this verse comes only a few verses, after Paul has spoken about the fruit of the Spirit and immediately after the verse about not being conceited. To be ‘spiritual’ here, does not mean someone who does lots of religious stuff, it means someone who has learnt to walk in step with the Spirit, who exhibits the qualities of the fruit of the Spirit, who is not conceited, but has understood the gospel and so is both confident and humble in their faith.
This is the kind of person who is most likely to be able to help someone back to a confident faith after they’ve fallen into sin, or to know how to help someone out of sin.
But Paul also says, they should do so gently.
When people first become Christians, there may be all kinds of ways, in which their lifestyles are out of sync with how the Bible teaches us to live. They may have drink or drug issues, be in unmarried sexual relationships, be claiming benefits when they could be working, addicted to gambling, swear a lot, have a short temper and so on. They are not going to change overnight. God does not expect them to change overnight. We know from reading the Bible, that God called and worked through imperfect people.
So, gentleness and patience must be combined. We don’t bully or harass people to change, we gently teach, encourage and support them and allow God to work in their lives to transform them. That is what it means to be gentle with people.
I was at a conference this week and a lady spoke about when she first came back to church after some time away. At the time she was out of work and using lots of excuses not to bother applying. One excuse was that it was hard to get to interviews, because she had no transport. The Christians around her could have just told her to buck her ideas up and try harder, but they did something amazing and gentle. They clubbed together and bought her a cheap £500 car, so that she could get to interviews. Through generosity and gentleness, she was encouraged to get into work. Now she is a CEOof a charity, a Christian author and speaker at conferences!
In Reconciliation:
Gentleness is also important if we want to seek reconciliation when there are arguments withing the church community.
As it says in Proverbs:
“A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
(Proverbs 15:1)
If we respond angrily to disagreement, then we will stoke up anger and might soon end up falling out or the church dividing and falling apart. The better way is to respond with gentleness. This is true even if others are clearly in the wrong.
Paul’s advice to Timothy in dealing with someone who oppose his teaching. He says of the Lord’s servant:
“Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth,” (2 Timothy 2:25)
In other words, the secret to tackling those with wrong ideas is not to shout them down, cut them out or try and turn everyone else against them, it is to gently instruct them in the truth.
Let’s be honest there are plenty of issues around that we disagree on as Christians and historically, the multitude of denominations points to the fact that we have not always been able to resolve these differences gently.
Today, when people turn up to church and see angry discord in the church they tend to quickly walk back out the door. I met someone a few months ago who had gone on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land and was inspired to try church again when they returned. Unfortunately, their first time in church was at a particularly contentious annual meeting and they were totally put off!
It is crucial that we learn to deal with those we disagree with in the church with gentleness.
In Reaching Out:
But this also extends to those outside the church. If we want to persuade people to turn to Jesus in faith, we need to do so gently.
It says in Proverbs:
“Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.” (Proverbs 25:15)
Indeed, gentleness and patience often go hand in hand and maybe especially when it comes to reaching out with the gospel. We cannot bully people into the faith we need to persuade them gently and that can take time.
But it also needs respect. We are not trying to impose our point of view on them, rather we are seeking to introduce them to Jesus as Lord,
“But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be ready to make your defence to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and reverence.” (1 Peter 3:15-16)
Again, this can be difficult, because when we speak to non-Christians, who disagree with us, we can take it personally and if we are not careful, we can allow ourselves to be provoked and respond with anger or frustration. I remember, once having a conversation with some teaching colleagues about the faith back in the 1990s, and finding myself becoming quite worked up. It’s not helpful when that happens.
Evangelism is not about winning an argument, it’s not about proving yourself right, it is about sharing what you have discovered about Jesus in the hope that others will want it for themselves. We will only be persuasive if we do this with gentleness and respect.
A Gentler World
Indeed, as Christians living in a less gentle world, we should be modelling something different, a gentler world! People should be able to see in the way we relate to each other and to them, a gentleness that is attractive and welcoming.
They should see this characteristic as a reflection of the Messiah we follow, the one who gives us peace when we pray to him, who saves us by grace and who came as the humble one, riding on a donkey.
St. Luke's Church Ramsgate 